Anxiety Annie has been visiting me on a regular. If you don't know who this is check out my blog "Introducing Anxiety Annie". Any who .. Anxiety Annie popped up the day that here in Alberta everyone started to panic over Covid. This was the literal internal battle I had at the grocery store.
Anxiety Annie, "Kendra there's only one bag of rice left.. take it."
Kendra's voice, "I think I should be okay.. someone else may need it more than me and we still have rice."
Anxiety Annie, "Well check the flour.. what if they run out and than what?"
Kendra, "My costco bag should last us awhile. We can grab next time."
Anxiety Annie, "What if tomorrow there's no milk.. look at the limits.. how will your children be?"
Kendra, "I'm sure that won't happen.. why should I hoard?"
Anxiety Annie, "Look at that person judging you for keeping your distance.. "
Kendra, "Really?" (heart starts beating faster as if it's bursting through my chest)
This is literally the different directions my anxiety takes me. One minute on rice and the next about the person I'm assuming is judging me. It began feeling out of control. I had to start mentally preparing myself before grocery trips and put measures in place that made me feel more in control. Instead of hearing Anxiety Annie now I've tamed her and put her at the back of my mind.
These are the steps I've taken when out in public that gave me a sense of control:
I wear a face mask, a tight hoodie to roll up the sleeves, tie my hair back, wear a hair band that covers my ears and I wear my seeing glasses
I take Lysol Wipes, Hand Sanitizer with me to clean the cart and any other handles I touch
I go in with a Grocery List to cut the time spent in the store
The groceries are put in the back of the vehicle and if my family is with me I spray myself down with Lysol Aerosol Spray that kills virus
At home I divide my table into a "clean" and "dirty" side. I also take the clothes I was wearing off and put straight into the wash. I stay in my underwear while I finish all my tasks or you can shower off before you tend to the groceries. (My groceries stay on the deck or in my car till I'm ready to clean them)
I disinfect my boxed/canned groceries with 1 tbsp. bleach to 4 Cups fruit/vegetables I wash in the sink with soap and water. Any items I don't want to get wet I just use a Lysol wipe. The bleach solution is good for up to 24 hours but I use it right after to disinfect handles, light switches, counter and in my bathrooms
I have been asked if I think I'm excessive but with my mental health this gives me a sense of relief because I'm doing everything I possibly can to protect my family.
I do know that their is curbside option with stores but in my small town and the practices I've seen, I'm not super comfortable with it yet. Anxiety Annie literally screams at me "Have you seen them stand and disinfect the carts? Do they put your groceries together after handling other peoples items all day long?" When I'm answering no to these questions than that's my hesitation. I also want to support local during these hardships which is why I won't travel anywhere else that may provide me with the sanitization practices in place I am desiring. At the end of the day I need to find a new normal that makes sense.
Do you relate to needing that control in your life? Do you have any suggestions that perhaps would cut my list of steps down?
תגובות