The one misconception I have personally found with anxiety is how quick people say, "You don't look like you have anxiety."
Well yes, thank you for saying I am a great actress.. that's such a compliment (eyeroll) but deep down I'm fighting my anxiety on a daily basis.
Remember that birthday party we attended and you kept asking me why I was quiet?
I told you that I had a long night with Noah and I was tired. Actually, Anxiety Annie was speaking up telling me, "Kendra, do you think Mel likes you because you just said Hi to her and she seemed to ignore you? Oh Kendra, your daughter just said something rude I'm sure you are going to be judged. Shhhh.... don't be so loud while you parent. Look what you've done Karen over there is giving you her two bits. You must not know what your doing."
On the outside though I'm staying calm, smiling and being polite to those around me.
I can function through my anxiety. This means, that even though when my anxiety is heightened and I want to crawl into a hole and stay there till the feeling passes.. I continue on during that birthday party.
Is this all the time?
Answer: No. There are often times where I go to a setting and won't have any anxiety or perhaps one small bout of it.
Do you have a cure?
Answer: Nope. I know how to manage and cope with my anxiety but it has taken many years to get to where I am today.
Does everyone in your family know?
Answer: Nope. Their are many who are aware of my mental health struggle and some who know but ignore it and create their own narrative as to who I am. I've learnt who to confide in and who to stay away from.
My ADVICE
Just because someone looks "normal" on the outside you never actually know what their struggling with. It could be a multitude of mental health struggles. Be more understanding and if someone reaches out to you don't question them because you need all the facts. Consider that they are opening up to you for a reason and trust you. Don't wreck that trust. Wait for them to offer you that questioning window if they choose to.
Yes, I have anxiety and may not be considered normal but let's make being different the new normal. I choose to be different.
What do you choose?
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